


a unique way to provide comfort

by aizensosuke



Series: UlqhiHime Week 2018 [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Loss, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Mental Health Issues, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Inoue Orihime, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Ulquiorra Cifer, Transphobia, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 16:32:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16814341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aizensosuke/pseuds/aizensosuke
Summary: orihime isn't usually sad, but when they are, ulquiorra finds a way to assist.





	a unique way to provide comfort

When they were younger and their brother passed away, Orihime had to learn how to take care of themself and all of the trappings that came with such a thing. By the time they move in with Ulquiorra, their friends have all at least once affectionately referred to them as the  _ mom friend _ which is fine; Orihime likes the compliment and the idea that their friends know they can come to them if they need anything from a shoulder to cry on to advice and comfort.

The problem is, Orihime slips from time to time. When there are bad days— and there are plenty of bad days despite appearances— they slip. Usually not enough for anyone to notice, but Ulquiorra never seems to miss a single thing when it comes right down to it.

Well, he misses how obviously in love with him they are, but that’s for another day.

Ulquiorra comes home from work, shrugging out of his jacket and humming along to whatever was playing on his car radio before he came upstairs. He sees them on the floor, stretched out on their back and staring up at the ceiling, and stops in his tracks.

Then he lowers himself to the floor in the space between one arm and one leg, curls his hands beneath his chin and stares down at them. “This doesn’t look like a comfortable position.”

“You’d be surprised. It’s not that bad.” They’ve also been lying here long enough to really barely feel it at this point, like their entire back has just gone numb. Staying perfectly still for fifteen minutes or so is supposed to be the perfect guarantee to fall asleep, but their brain has been nonstop since they woke up. “How was your day? Did work go okay?”

He makes a noncommittal noise down at them and then clears his throat. “What happened?”

Because of course he knows. Orihime can be strange, and finding them on the floor is not exactly a new thing by any means, but today has been an especially bad day and lying on the floor just seemed like the thing to do. It hasn’t made anything better, though.

“The anniversary of Sora’s death is in a few days and I just.” They screw their face up, not sure they want to talk about this. “Every time I start thinking about the past, my brain is weird.”

When they came out back in high school, the response had been chilly at best beyond their small circle of close friends. The girl who had been obsessed with them was suddenly no longer interested and even if Orihime was incredibly put off by her advances and her strange, borderline stalking behavior, there was no denying it still felt weird to have her suddenly turn a cold shoulder. Their best friend to this day had been supportive, of course, as had a few other friends. The one boy they really thought they would have loved forever was. Distant.

Not that they can blame anyone for their reactions, not really. Their town was hardly renown for being a progressive place to live and maybe coming out in high school at all was a mistake, but living a lie was just a worse one. At least, it seemed like a worse one at the time.

If they could go back, knowing what they know now, Orihime isn’t sure what they’d choose.

“Ah, so it’s like that.” Ulquiorra offers them a hand and Orihime takes it, just to have something to hold onto. He has nice hands, slender fingers and warm skin despite how cold it looks to the touch. Callused but soft. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

The question has them rolling their head to make sure they’re looking at him properly, not sure what to think about that. Though Ulquiorra is not exactly a cold and unfeeling person, he’s distant when it comes to affection and he struggles when other people are upset. “Oh, um. Hmm. Maybe we can bake something to take my mind off of it.”

“Okay.” Come on.” Ulquiorra stands, still holding them by the hand, and helps them up to their feet. To their surprised delight, he holds their hand all the way into the kitchen.

Menoly is so going to give them the third degree for falling for their roommate, but Loly was the one who gave them the warning that Ulquiorra was attractive and smart and that they’d probably fall for him if they had a brain in their head. As it turns out, they do, and even when it wants to misfire and remind them that their past was fucking stupid, they still find themselves hung up over how handsome Ulquiorra looks, watching him brush his hair back out of his face.

It isn’t  _ fair _ but Orihime is pretty damn grateful to get to spend so much time with him anyway.

“What do you want to bake?” he asks them, finally letting go of their hand.

“Cookies.” Cookies are easy and Ulquiorra loves them. Had gone through an entire platter on his own during a movie night. “We have chocolate chips in the cabinet still. I was saving them for a rainy day and it’s not raining but, well, we might as well use them.”

Ulquiorra stares at them for a beat before cocking his head. “Are you okay, Orihime?”

“I’m fine. It’s just been a day.” They brush past him on the way to the refrigerator, making a mental catalogue of what they need to bake the cookies. “Can you preheat the oven for me? That way it’ll be nice and hot when we finally put the cookies in.”

“Sure thing.” He does, and then he retrieves the pan from the drawer beneath the oven and gathers the dry ingredients without another word.

Sometimes, Orihime thinks about the two of them together. Okay, they think about that all the time especially during quiet moments like this one, like, wouldn’t it be great if Ulquiorra was their boyfriend and they could shower him in affection and steal kisses between adding ingredients to the mixing bowl? But then they remember a certain man drifting just a little farther away from them seemingly each month until graduation blissfully ended everything.

Ulquiorra asked them a few weeks ago if they’d thought about dating and like, yeah, they have, but just  _ him _ and not anyone else and even though Ulquiorra says he’s bisexual, they’ve only heard him talk about boyfriends. Maybe he has a preference for men in that department, which is fair but also absolutely soul-crushing and it  _ sucks _ to be thinking about this today.

“Orihime.” Ulquiorra’s hands are gentle on their shoulders as he turns them to face him, brushing a strand of hair that’s fallen out of their messy ponytail back behind their ear. “Go take a shower. I’ll finish the cookies. Bring your hairbrush when you’re done.”

“Uh?” They waver for a moment, not sure exactly what is going on anymore.

Instead of elaborating, Ulquiorra turns them toward the doorway and gives a small push. “Go.”

Maybe he can tell they haven’t showered today, and they hadn’t before going to bed last night. Oh, God, do they smell? Best to just get in the shower just in case. Ulquiorra would be too polite to just come out and say something like that to their face.

They take a little extra time to wash their face before coming back to the kitchen, dressed in a pair of pajamas because real clothes seem like too much effort on a day like this, hairbrush clenched in their fingers. It’s… Almost cute, watching Ulquiorra carefully measure out the cookie dough with an ice cream scoop before setting the pan in the oven to bake. When he turns and sees them watching him, he only nods once and points to the table.

“You want me to sit down?” they ask, not sure they get his total meaning.

“Yes.” Ulquiorra waits until they do that, scooting up to the table, and then he sets the empty mixing bowl in front of them with remnants of dough still stuck to the sides, taking the brush from their fingers. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to brush your hair while you eat the rest of this.”

“Eating raw dough can make you sick,” they quip, swiping a finger through the dough just the same. “Wait, why are you doing this? I’m starting to get confused.”

He sighs softly and rests his hands on their shoulders, gathering the damp weight of their hair and pulling it back behind their shoulders. “Because you’re having a very bad day. And there’s not much I can do to tell your brain to just shut up, but I can do this much.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Orihime tries to ignore the fluttering in their stomach at the words, shoving cookie dough into their mouth before they risk saying something stupid in response.

As it turns out, Ulquiorra is incredibly good at brushing hair and handles theirs with ease despite the fact theirs is at least three times the length of his though the thickness is probably similar. He runs the brush through the ends of their hair first to work the knots out before moving up gradually, smooth strokes that don’t pull at their scalp at all. By the times he’s running the bristles through their roots, a great deal of the tension in their shoulders has eased and they’ve finished the cookie dough, sitting with their hands pressed between their thighs.

Everything about him is too perfect. They’re convinced about that.

“I’m sorry you’ve been having a difficult day.” Ulquiorra sets the brush on the table and Orihime notices one of their elastic bands has disappeared from it. The green one, one of their favorite colors. “And I wish I was better equipped to make you feel better. You do it for me an unfair amount, but this is the best I can do in return.”

He gathers their hair up and ties it back into a ponytail for them, a high ponytail that makes their hair bounce against their back when they turn their head to look up at him. It’s hard to speak for a minute, something solid stuck in their throat until they swallow it down; another wad of unspoken feelings they could never hope to share with him. “Thank you, Ulqui. You’re doing a really good job, actually. I already feel better than I did when you got home.”

When he smiles down at them, their heart thuds pitifully hard against their ribs. “I’m glad. How about I make you some hot chocolate while the cookies bake? It’s cold out, and it’s a little more comforting than just plain tea would be. I think we have whipped cream in the fridge, too.”

“We do.” It was an impulse buy, and it’s perfect for cocoa. “That would be great, thank you.”

Sitting on their hands while Ulquiorra moves around the kitchen, running hot water through their coffee maker in lieu of coffee because the cocoa always stays hotter that way. This was  _ his _ kitchen before they moved in but the space itself feels more like theirs now, a testament not only to how much they love to cook but how willing Ulquiorra was to let them make the space their own. The proof is in how many cabinets he has to open to find where they moved the cocoa and the mugs, and the exasperated expression on his face is maybe a little fond?

They should stop getting ahead of themself before they break their own heart over him.

“Did you want to go lay flowers on your brother’s grave?” Ulquiorra asks while he’s waiting for the water to finish heating, cocoa powder already added to two mugs.

The question catches Orihime off-guard. “I haven’t done that in a few years now.”

“Do you want to, though?” Ulquiorra glances at them, one dark brow raised. “I can drive you, if you want. It’s supposed to rain all morning and you don’t like driving when it rains.”

That’s true— And then the rest of the words catch up with their brain and this time they have to dry swallow their entire fucking heart when it tries to take the quickest route to escape their body, up out of their mouth. “That… Would be really great, actually. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t. Karakura Town, right?” Ulquiorra turns back to the coffee pot. “It’s not that long of a drive, and there’s a flower shop just on the outskirts that I’ve been to before. So we can get the flowers, go in, and leave. You can even sleep on the way there if you want to.”

_ If you don’t want to see the rest of the town _ is probably what he means; Orihime finds themself nodding in agreement. They took everything they cared about when they left home, only forced to leave Sora behind. “Sounds good to me. Do you have the day off tomorrow or something?”

“Yes. I get horribly bored on my days off, so this works out well for both of us.” Ulquiorra picks up the coffee pot when it’s filled with water, pouring some into their mugs, stirring up the contents before bringing them to the table, setting Orihime’s in front of them.

With practiced ease, they spray whipped cream on top of both mugs and throw a few extra chocolate chips on top for good measure. “Perfect. Thank you, Ulqui.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Ulquiorra retrieves the cookies from the oven when the timer beeps, setting them out to cool, before he sits down with Orihime.

Even something as small as this does something strange to them, having Ulquiorra close by and just sharing a quiet, peaceful moment with him. He’s turned their head inside out and upside down since they met him. He was a friend of Loly’s and not someone Orihime knew well, just that he was a friend of the general group and closer with Grimmjow than anyone else which seems  _ impossible _ given Grimmjow’s awful attitude. The two of them wouldn’t mix well at all, but Grimmjow  _ somehow _ had been living here before Orihime moved in.

The fact his boyfriend is a very tiny twink makes them wonder why he didn’t go for Ulquiorra.

“You know,” they say, picking a chocolate chip out of their whipped cream, “I’m really glad I’m living here with you right now. I’m glad you let me move in.”

“Oh?” Ulquiorra blinks at them, looking vaguely shocked. “Why do you say that?”

They shrug, popping the chip into their mouth and licking the whipped cream off of their fingers. “I just like spending time with you. You’re a genuinely sweet guy even if you’re a little awkward, like, you’re really trying right now and I appreciate that. Most people who don’t know how to handle bad situations would like, go hide out in their bedroom.”

“Grimmjow,” Ulquiorra says automatically, and now that is  _ hardly _ a surprise.

“Yeah. So. Living here is pretty great.” Orihime bounces up from their seat to collect the cookies, tipping them onto a plate and bringing them back to the table.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it because I really need to halve the rent.” Ulquiorra pauses and smiles at them, picking a cookie up off of the plate. “And because spending time with you is actually really nice, too. We can just sit and talk and hang out and it’s not weird, and you don’t ask me to play video games with you and then scream at me for being better than you are.”

“Grimmjow?” Orihime asks, shaking their head when Ulquiorra nods. “We should  _ Overwatch _ one of these days. I hear his temper when he loses is legendary.”

Ulquiorra snorts. “You have no idea. That’s what he gets for maining Doomfist all the time. I main Hanzo and Starrk mains McCree, because of course—”

“That’s cute,” Orihime interrupts, and Ulquiorra grins at them.

“Right? And we kick his ass together. Oh, it drives him up the fucking  _ wall _ every time he loses.” Ulquiorra takes a bite of cookie, a self-satisfied smile on his face.

“Well, I main Mei and I’ll do my best to make sure that you can just completely destroy his ass more than you already do,” Orihime says, bumping their cookie against his.

They polish off the entire plate and two cups of cocoa each before Ulquiorra excuses himself to take a shower, telling them they should just put  _ Overwatch _ on so they can start training their team tactics together in preparation for Grimmjow’s inevitably and glorious defeat. They’re happy enough to do that, humming to themself as they do, flipping on the TV and setting up the console necessary as they listen to the shower run. Maybe, just  _ maybe _ they’re thinking about Ulquiorra naked in there, leaning against the shower wall, running a hand between his legs—

Okay, enough thinking for one day. Their brain has gotten them into more than enough trouble for a single day, and they’d like to have it be peaceful until it’s time to go to bed.

Ulquiorra drops down next to them on the couch in a t-shirt with the arms cut off, and the holes are ripped open enough for them to realize he’s not wearing anything underneath it. An interesting dilemma. It gives them enough of a distraction to focus harder on the game, a reminder that if they slip up, he’s definitely going to notice and probably ask them what the hell they’re staring at. Not knowing it’s him, it’s definitely been him for a long time.

And it’s probably going to be him until they can talk themself out of this stupid crush or they get their heart shattered into twelve million pieces. One way or another, it’s going to have to happen. You can’t live with someone that you’ve fallen in love with forever without their being any issues.

And when it’s dark and they’re alone in their room, they can maybe dream that Ulquiorra sees that they love him, that he doesn’t break their heart.

That maybe they can join him in the shower  _ okay stop thinking about it. _

**Author's Note:**

> hoo ha the whole world works


End file.
